Today I Learned

that not only are child stars Jackie Coogan and Jackie Cooper two different people, but so are Claudette Colbert and Carole Lombard.

I mean, I'm sure I'd heard all these names before, but never at the same time. So when I heard one of the two, I wouldn't think of the other one; I thought of them as one person. And now it's like I'm seeing double. Does this make any sense? Hello out there?

In high school, Rachna Shah directed a one-act play called "Hello Out There." And it was basically just this guy in a jail cell screaming "Hello Out There?" to some woman who came to visit him. Then he kept telling her in a god-awful cowboy accent to forget all about him and go to "Frisco."

Rachna got into some really good colleges and I'm sure she's very successful now. Doesn't change the fact that HER one-act was shit and MINE got picked to represent the East Brunswick High School Drama Club at the Surflight Theater competition.

People used to call her Crotch Rot Shah.