Phone Conversation With My Editor

Me: Hey, it's me.
Him: Hey.
Me: I'm calling from my landline. I didn't do that so you would pick up the phone not knowing who it was, since you don't know my landline number. . . I just have no idea where my cell phone is.
Him: Right.
Me: Because I wasn't sitting here going, "He won't pick up if he knows it's me, let's use the land line."
Him: Right.
Me: So, do you need me Monday? Because I know you said you needed me at some point this week.
Him: (Thinking) Uh. . . no. Do not need you Monday. Definitely do not need you Monday.
Me: Good. Because otherwise, my sister was going to have to go to the bank.
Him: Right. Because the last thing we want is for your sister to have to go to the bank.

And I think he knows that asking me what the fuck I was talking about would be "feeding the beast," so he just let it go at that.

It reminded me of a conversation I had with a co-worker at a party last week.
Her: Oh, there's 10 cookies in a serving? That's okay. Eight is enough.
Me: Yeah, when the heck is THAT coming out on DVD?
Her: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Editor: So, what is that, the 40,000th time you've heard that, Carli?

So, yay, day off Monday. Spring Breaaaaaaaaak.