I worked out a deal so I can still see my therapist, which I won't go into here because it's nobody's business and not interesting at all, but I'm glad it seems like it is going to work for now. Her dropping my insurance company was a perfect excuse for me to drop therapy altogether and completely regress. I'm not going to do that as of yet.
There are still some unresolved issues in my life, but I'm trying to remain positive. I've quoted Elliott Smith so many times, I should have this lyric tattooed across my back:
"They say that G-d makes problems just to see what you can stand before you do as the devil pleases."
I've always read that quote and thought that I was the type of person to do exactly as "the devil" pleases. Maybe I am being tested by the universe. Maybe I'm being told to give up, that I don't deserve to function, that something terrible is going to happen. Maybe everything happens for a reason; maybe everything is random and meaningless. Either way, I'm going to try to see if I can stand a little more than I'm used to before giving into despair. I'm going to try to hold it together.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
That is a great quote and I suspect written by them when they were being tested too.
I feel exactly the same way at the moment. I am starting to wonder how much more I can take having thrown at me, as it has been one thing after another for the last 2 years, so I also feel like I am being tested. I refuse to crumble however and kudos to you for holding it together too. I am sure you will be successful as wanting to is half the battle.
Michele sent me by to offer words of support to you.
Post a Comment