New iPod Shuffle

I am a big fan of the iPod Shuffle. Sure, it holds far less music than a “classic” iPod and doesn’t have a screen. And of course, there are times when I’m itching to hear a particular tune and wish I could turn a clickwheel and make it play, but I’m fine with the mix-tape mentality of the Shuffle. Heck, I had a Rio back in 1999 when MP3 players were as futuristic as picnics on the moon. They held about 1 CD’s worth of music. Kids today don’t appreciate how good they have it! In the snow! Uphill!

My Shuffle is firmly ingrained into my commuter lifestyle; I strap it to my wrist in the morning and I'm good to go. And I've come to appreciate the liberating freedom of not overthinking what music to listen to and navigating a maze of screens to get to it. Shuffle plays what Shuffle wants to play and you will like it, dammit.

But the new Shuffle? A clunker. Why, why, why Apple, would you put all of the controls for your newest music player on the EARBUDS? To shrink the size by another few millimeters? To accommodate the sort-of-cool but totally unnecessary “voice,” which will read out track information and tell you when your battery is low? I cannot use Apple earbuds. It’s not a matter of comfort—they won’t even stay in my ears. I know many others have this problem. And there are certainly plenty of audiophiles who prefer 3rd party headphones to what Apple provides.

There’s no way I would spend money on this ($79, 4 GB). Thankfully, for now, they’re still selling the 2 GB 2nd generation Shuffles should I need another one ($59; say goodbye to the 1GB—it’s gone). And also, if it ever becomes necessary, I could probably use the one we bought my mother for Mother's Day last year that she barely uses, except to point to and say, "That's what my children gave me. I really wanted a Wii Fit but I guess this is what 35 years of maternal servitude gets you. I don't know where I went wrong. Maybe I loved them TOO much."