Letter to Trader Joe's

Hi,
Today is my birthday. To celebrate, my co-workers bought me a Trader Joe's ice cream cake. The cake was purchased this morning and when it was served at 3 p.m., it was a lovely cake soup. It was nearly impossible to cut into pieces and would have been more appropriately consumed through a juice box.

We've checked the freezer here at work and everything else in it is actually frozen. We considered bringing the cake back, but the idea of dragging a dripping mass of melting dairy onto the subway did not sit well with us. Besides, we're the types who will eat anything, so we tolerated the liquid cake.

We were also going to take a picture to e-mail you, but most of us gathered were of the "Eh, I have a camera on my cell phone but I don't know how to use it" variety. I hope you will take my word for it; I do not make a yearly habit of pretending that my birthday cake melted in the hopes of receiving compensation from you in the form of a coupon for free "An Apple Walked Into a Bar" snacks. I mainly wanted to bring this to your attention so that, I don't know, maybe someone can check the freezer the cakes are in to make sure they're nice and cold. (Don't get me wrong, though. I'll take whatever you have!)

I look forward to the upcoming Fearless Flyer and spending the gift card to TJ's my sister purchased for me. I love you guys. You may be the only neighborhood grocery store whose melted ice cream I'll eat.

Best,
Carli E***n