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Wasting Time Watching Movies

Sunday, June 04, 2006
new business venture
I'm thinking of opening an all-night pickle joint. It'll be called "In the Dill of the Night."

Goodnight, folks!

posted by Margie MacDougall at 6:03 PM 0 comments
Most Ridiculous Quote of the Day
"To imagine that it's just like every other disease — like cancer or diabetes — is false," said Tracy Welsh, executive director of the HIV Law Project. "Getting a positive test result is something that turns somebody's life upside down."

Right, Tracy, because finding out you have cancer or diabetes--that's something that has minimal impact on most peoples' lives.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 2:25 PM 0 comments
Saturday, June 03, 2006
I was looking
for my friend Rachel's new address, and I came up with 5 people with her name, none of which were her. So of course I thought of The Brady Girls Get Married, when Wally Logan sent Marcia Brady flowers with the note, "There were 5 Marcia Bradys in the phone book, and I sent flowers to all of them."

Now, if her name was Jane Thompson, maybe. But 5 Marcia Bradys? Unlikey.

And speaking of the Brady Girls Get Married, I cannot attend a wedding with my sister and not turn to her and say, "My cleats! I forgot to take off my cleats!" And if you know what I'm talking about, kudos to you.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 8:19 PM 0 comments
Sometimes when I watch movies

I cook dinner, too.
I'm really proud of how this looks (kinda greasy spoon), especially because I got four of these ceramic dishes (with plastic tops for leftovers! YEAH, BABY!) for $4 at Jack's (home of the $.99 meat, the $.99 "Oopsies" irregular underwear, and the $.99 wheel of brie).

posted by Margie MacDougall at 6:21 PM 0 comments
Today, I actually ventured outside and saw a movie made not only in this century, but released THIS weekend. Due to poor judgement and a little bit of a Vince Vaughn girl crush, I went to see The Break-Up.

For most of the movie, it wouldn't have made much of a difference if I was staring at a blank screen. I even think that at some point, I was. The Break Up was completely devoid of plot. Dialogue is regurgitated scene after scene until essentially, you could imagine the director saying, "Okay, we're going to set up the bedroom scene now. IF you could all just say what you said in the kitchen before, that'd be great!" There were only a few spurts of attempted humor, and they were tired and forced. The story never goes anywhere, so there's not much to resolve, although, they don't resolve it anyway. It's like when you feel a cold coming on, and you prepare yourself for it, and you cough a little, and after a few days you feel better and realize there isn't going to be a cold at all? That's what this movie was like. I kept waiting for it to happen, and it never did.

Tonight I'm watching Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. I just realized I have picture in picture with my DVR, so I have baseball, Star Wars, and Benson on in the little box.

Benson is so freakin' cool.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 5:56 PM 0 comments
I Have Confidence in Cultural Identity
My sister, on why she always wanted to skip the first 20 minutes of The Sound of Music:

"I never wanted to watch the nuns. I thought we couldn't because we were Jewish."

posted by Margie MacDougall at 3:15 PM 0 comments
Friday, June 02, 2006
Garfield II: Your Second Chance
I don't understand why studios "greenlight" sequels to movies no one saw in the first place. It's like someone said, "I feel that not enough people were given the opportunity to see GARFIELD. Let's make another one, so we can reach those 5 billion people we missed." Enjoy, everyone. I think that now, having a sequel to a movie you never saw nor wanted to see, you will feel more complete.

My cat just looked at me and said, "Are you blogging about Garfield? Woman, please."

posted by Margie MacDougall at 6:17 PM 0 comments
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Jeopardy! and Dead Parakeets
Answer: She got old, went insane, and wandered around the beach with 2 strawberry ice cream cones.

Question: What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?

It's something I aspire to, really.

I watched WHTBJ? last night. It really exceeded my expectations in that I genuinely didn't know what was going to happen to Baby Jane, although I did know about that dead parakeet. I wonder if, in 1962, before all those ASPCA laws, they just went out and killed themselves a parakeet.

Why do we never see this in the credits of a movie?:

No animal was harmed during the making of this film. . .
Well, one hamster, but he was really asking for it.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 9:39 AM 1 comments
Monday, May 29, 2006
Some More Movie Moments
The other day I was explaining the width of a sculpture as being "three hippos wide, standing shoulder to shoulder." (My work is odd sometimes.)

And of course, what I got in my head was the "Sister Suffragettes" song from Mary Poppins. " Votes for women! Step in time! Does anyone know what I'm talking about? Is anybody reading this? Is anybody there? Does anybody care? Does anybody see what I see?

Great. I've gone from Mary Poppins to 1776. A reference within a reference within whatever.

Today it was thundering, and I had the same reaction I always have when it thunders or lightnings: to think, "The lightning says something to the thunder, and the thunder answers back." My friend Rachel, who has probably seen Sound of Mucas at least as many times as I have, said she does not have the same reaction. Hmm. I wonder what it is like to not be reminded of a movie or TV show by every little thing that happens in life.

Right after the thunder, I saw a bike that my sister had, and that got handed down to me. And all I could think of was a little girl throwing a sh*t fit because Josh Brolin had stolen her bike in Goonies.

I'm not a huge fan of reality TV, but I do watch it from time to time. Top Chef rules!
Tonight I was watching The Apprentice, and each finalist had chosen a three-member team to help them win. Towards the end of part 1, one team member approached another and said, "I have to go to the doctor. I'm coughing up blood." And the other one was like, "Okay, but can you at least pick some stuff up at PathMark on your way back?"

Lovely.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 7:38 PM 2 comments
I am very excited about
this. I'm not even a huge fan of the original movies (although I've seen 1 and 2 a bunch of times each, and have banished the parts of III and IV I've seen to the outer recesses of my brain). Did you like how I switched from Arabic to Roman numerals there? I'm good like that.

I am guessing that this film will be dedicated to at least Chris, possibly Dana, most likely not Marlon, and not a snowball's chance in Hell for Richard Pryor.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 4:37 PM 1 comments
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Stupid Halloween Joke for the Kiddies
What's a ghost's favorite web site?

Ghoul-gle.
HA!

posted by Margie MacDougall at 11:54 PM 1 comments
Fallen Eagle Corps
So my new crayons came today, and I was working on my Civil War Uniforms coloring book, and I came across a page about the Invalid Corps. "Established in the spring of 1863. . . was composed of disabled officers and men who could still perform limited service such as guard and garrison duty." This just cries out "Hallmark Channel Original Movie starring Chris O'Donnell as the disgraced alcoholic colonel assigned to lead this ragtag team of broken men, including, oh, say, Oliver Platt." And it could be called something patriotic, like, "The Pride of the Fallen Eagles." Or, it could go the Lifetime "colon movie" route, and be called "Fallen Eagles: The Story of the Invalid Corps." And it would be a really crappy movie, but they should still make it.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 10:03 PM 0 comments
Am I Psychic?
Probably not. But I was just thinking that I wanted to look up what other movies Hal Ashby had made, because I had enjoyed Being There so much. And I was looking at my list of recorded movies, and decided to watch Harold and Maude, which I hadn't seen since high school and had never really paid attention to. And lo and behold, it was directed by Hal Ashby, which I guess I also never paid attention to. I had DVR'd it because of Ruth Gordon, who does an absolutely fabulous job here, and in Rosemary's Baby.

Harold and Maude is one of those movies that has a message of "You've got to get out there and live, kid, because life is all around you." Normally, those movies really piss me off, but this one is so morbid and off-kilter, and Gordon and star Bud Cort give such earnest performances, I can't help but almost want to get out there and live.

Also, Bud Cort has a very short cameo in one of my favorite movie musicals, Sweet Charity. When I saw the movie, and he showed up at the end, I thought, "Hey, Bud Cort," and I thought that if I wasn't alone in my apartment with a cat but with actual human beings, one of them might have been impressed. Sigh.

Bud Cort. I love saying that name. I love typing that name. Shall we?
Bud Cort. Bud Cort. Bud Cort. Bud Cort. And he LOOKS like a Bud Cort.

I also watched part of From Here to Eternity tonight, which I'd seen once before, although I'd missed the very end. (Thank you, TCM, for ending at 10:02 instead of 10:00.) My favorite part of the movie is that Deborah Kerr actually relaxes her back muscles long enough to romp around on the beach with Burt Lancaster. I've blogged it before, and I'll blog it again: that woman's posture was freakishly good.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 8:48 PM 1 comments
Spanglish
I set the bar pretty low for myself. On any given day, if I can get out of bed and dress myself, I am so freaking proud.

Today, I lost the battle. But, to quote Charity Hope Valentine, there's always tomorrah.

I did manage to watch Spanglish. I think some higher power was punishing me for being so damn lazy. James L. Brooks has made some decent movies, but his policy has always been, "Let's write a bunch of witticisms that everyone will find so freakin' clever they can't stand it and then build a story around them that will make everyone happy to be a member of this kooky, complicated human race." Only, he's not so clever anymore.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 6:14 PM 0 comments
Friday, May 26, 2006
Natalie Green
Somebody "rejiggered" my Natalie Green edits on Wikipedia. I wonder if it was Mindy Cohn, who played Natalie Green. They really just tightened up the wording, but I feel kind of. . . violated.

Tonight one of the Jeopardy! categories was a "Finish the Musical Theater Lyrics." I got all flummoxed on "Send in the Clowns," so that's the only one I missed. I feel that if I had hit "pause" on my DVR, I would have gotten it, but that's against my Jeopardy! official viewing rules. (Other rule: If I don't say the answer out loud, it doesn't count in my imaginary Jeopardy! game.)

Anyway, the other musicals featured were South Pacific, probably my least favorite movie musical. (Enough with the freaking planes already), King and I (The movie is too long, but has a lot of fun musical numbers--but Deborah Kerr's pole-in-her-back good posture always bothers me. Slouch a little, woman!), Sound of Music (I was brainwashed at too young an age to have an objective opinion), and Fiddler on the Roof (one of my favorite movie musicals, also too long, and my DVD player ATE my copy).

One really funny feature on the DVD of Fiddler On the Roof is the audio commentary provided by Norman Jewison (who isn't Jewish!) and Topol (who is Jewish, and not a smoker's tooth polish). Topol goes on and on about the horse he was paired with in the film. Now, put on your best Tevye accent when you read this in your head,

"The horse, he was very well behaved. He was very sweet. I would sing my song, and he would just stand there eating hay. He was a beautiful horse."

"We rescued that horse from the glue factory. He had no training. He was such a good horse."

And just when you think it's over, in the last scene, Topol comes in with,
"And at the end of filming, we gave the horse to a local orphanage. They loved the horse. Such a good horse."

You know, some films, they don't need the commentary.

And speaking of Topol, do you remember those old commercials for Topol, the Smoker's tooth polish? A really good looking couple would come into a restaurant, and the hostess would say, "Two for non-smoking?" And the guy would go, "No, we smoke." And the idea was regardless of what you were doing to your lungs, your TEETH could be white and shiny by using Topol.

And speaking of hostesses, I just found out from a reliable source that Aileen Quinn, who played Annie in the movie Annie, is now a hostess at a restaurant in Hoboken, NJ. I called my sister to tell her, and she said, "Are you going to call her there?" Um, no. I have nothing to say to Aileen Quinn. She knows why. (Okay, she doesn't even know I exist.)

Oh, and get that Don Budge fellow if he's available!

posted by Margie MacDougall at 8:07 PM 1 comments
Far More Entertaining Than Apollo 13
Use the zoom feature on this page to get as close-up a view as you can of the moon. No, really, do it.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 8:02 PM 1 comments
An Endless Stream of Movie Thoughts
I thought I'd take some time and mention some of the many movie and TV references that pop into my head on an average afternoon. Some of them don't make any sense in the context that I think of them, which, to me, is all the more entertaining. And to others, it's confusing and sometimes annoying.

My friend Traci, whom I shall call Tracey for her privacy, emailed me to remind me that we're seeing a show next week. (I totally wrote this so y'all would think I have a life.) I owe her money for my ticket (I'm not a deadbeat! She picked them up!) and so I emailed her, "What was the total $$$$?" And then, this popped into my head, "What's the birthday boy's name, because I write it across my chest," a line from the oft-quoted PARENTHOOD. Didn't make much sense, and had exactly 2 words from my original question. But still, that's what I thought of.

Then a co-worker emailed that she's taking a vacation next week and won't be in. I replied, "Have a great time. Bring me back something French." That's a line from HOME ALONE. (The neighborhood kid comes by to talk to the family, accidentally gets "miscounted" as being Macauley Culkin's character, and when he's walking away, he shouts out that line, because the family is going to France.) Not sure why, but I've always loved this line, and I've been using it lately whenever anyone goes away.

I also love the line "a plain cheese pizza, just for me," from Home Alone, and when I order pizza, I tend to say this, even though, realistically, the cat is going to eat some of it.

Back to today! Live for now! My co-worker, whom I will call Ben,and that's really not his name, because he really wouldn't want it printed here, said to another co-worker, whom I will not call anything, because it really doesn't matter, "I might go see ˆDa Vinci Codeˆ this weekend" And I joked, "The movie. . . or the code?" Ben didn't find it funny, so I explained that it was a reference to an episode of The Simpsons, when Troy McClure (the actor played by the late Phil Hartman) gets a phone call from his agent, who asks him if he's ever heard of ˆPlanet of the Apesˆ, to which he answers, "the movie, or the planet"? Then UNNAMED CO-WORKER said that not only had I told a bad joke, but I had stolen it from someplace else. . . to which I said,

"I didn't steal. I adopted. Big difference. HUGE. Excuse me, I have to go shopping now." That, of course, is adapted from ˆPretty Womanˆ. And that movie is pretty much over for me after she goes shopping.

I still think my ˆDa Vinciˆjoke was funny. I mean, where would you go to see the actual code?

My friend Suzanne, whom I am calling my friend to protect our friendship, is off to New Orleans tomorrow. Please take this opportunity to rob her house.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 2:26 PM 1 comments
So I finally watched Double Indemnity last night, resuming my education on all things Billy Wilder. Mr.Moran, my high school drama teacher, recommended DI to me about 12 years ago. He also lent me his copy of Night of the Hunter, which I never watched, and which he accused me of never returning. He finally admitted he was wrong 6 months after I graduated. And he calls himself a Disney American Teacher Award winner!

Mr. Moran directed several of my schoolmates in a production of Oklahoma! When he got frustrated, he'd like to sing, "Oh, the farmer and the cowman should be shot." Good times, noodle salad.

Double Indemnity was a darn good flick, but I don't really feel like going into why. The only reason I'm blogging at all right now is to get the only person who cares about this blog off my back for not blogging in the past 16 hours or so.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 10:31 AM 0 comments
About Me

Name:Margie MacDougall

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Previous Posts

* new business venture
* Most Ridiculous Quote of the Day
* I was looking
* Sometimes when I watch movies
* Today, I actually ventured outside and saw a movie...
* I Have Confidence in Cultural Identity
* Garfield II: Your Second Chance
* Jeopardy! and Dead Parakeets
* Some More Movie Moments
* I am very excited about

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* May 2006
* June 2006

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Wasting Time Watching Movies

Monday, May 29, 2006
Some More Movie Moments
The other day I was explaining the width of a sculpture as being "three hippos wide, standing shoulder to shoulder." (My work is odd sometimes.)

And of course, what I got in my head was the "Sister Suffragettes" song from Mary Poppins. " Votes for women! Step in time! Does anyone know what I'm talking about? Is anybody reading this? Is anybody there? Does anybody care? Does anybody see what I see?

Great. I've gone from Mary Poppins to 1776. A reference within a reference within whatever.

Today it was thundering, and I had the same reaction I always have when it thunders or lightnings: to think, "The lightning says something to the thunder, and the thunder answers back." My friend Rachel, who has probably seen Sound of Mucas at least as many times as I have, said she does not have the same reaction. Hmm. I wonder what it is like to not be reminded of a movie or TV show by every little thing that happens in life.

Right after the thunder, I saw a bike that my sister had, and that got handed down to me. And all I could think of was a little girl throwing a sh*t fit because Josh Brolin had stolen her bike in Goonies.

I'm not a huge fan of reality TV, but I do watch it from time to time. Top Chef rules!
Tonight I was watching The Apprentice, and each finalist had chosen a three-member team to help them win. Towards the end of part 1, one team member approached another and said, "I have to go to the doctor. I'm coughing up blood." And the other one was like, "Okay, but can you at least pick some stuff up at PathMark on your way back?"

Lovely.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 7:38 PM 2 comments
I am very excited about
this. I'm not even a huge fan of the original movies (although I've seen 1 and 2 a bunch of times each, and have banished the parts of III and IV I've seen to the outer recesses of my brain). Did you like how I switched from Arabic to Roman numerals there? I'm good like that.

I am guessing that this film will be dedicated to at least Chris, possibly Dana, most likely not Marlon, and not a snowball's chance in Hell for Richard Pryor.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 4:37 PM 1 comments
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Stupid Halloween Joke for the Kiddies
What's a ghost's favorite web site?

Ghoul-gle.
HA!

posted by Margie MacDougall at 11:54 PM 1 comments
Fallen Eagle Corps
So my new crayons came today, and I was working on my Civil War Uniforms coloring book, and I came across a page about the Invalid Corps. "Established in the spring of 1863. . . was composed of disabled officers and men who could still perform limited service such as guard and garrison duty." This just cries out "Hallmark Channel Original Movie starring Chris O'Donnell as the disgraced alcoholic colonel assigned to lead this ragtag team of broken men, including, oh, say, Oliver Platt." And it could be called something patriotic, like, "The Pride of the Fallen Eagles." Or, it could go the Lifetime "colon movie" route, and be called "Fallen Eagles: The Story of the Invalid Corps." And it would be a really crappy movie, but they should still make it.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 10:03 PM 0 comments
Am I Psychic?
Probably not. But I was just thinking that I wanted to look up what other movies Hal Ashby had made, because I had enjoyed Being There so much. And I was looking at my list of recorded movies, and decided to watch Harold and Maude, which I hadn't seen since high school and had never really paid attention to. And lo and behold, it was directed by Hal Ashby, which I guess I also never paid attention to. I had DVR'd it because of Ruth Gordon, who does an absolutely fabulous job here, and in Rosemary's Baby.

Harold and Maude is one of those movies that has a message of "You've got to get out there and live, kid, because life is all around you." Normally, those movies really piss me off, but this one is so morbid and off-kilter, and Gordon and star Bud Cort give such earnest performances, I can't help but almost want to get out there and live.

Also, Bud Cort has a very short cameo in one of my favorite movie musicals, Sweet Charity. When I saw the movie, and he showed up at the end, I thought, "Hey, Bud Cort," and I thought that if I wasn't alone in my apartment with a cat but with actual human beings, one of them might have been impressed. Sigh.

Bud Cort. I love saying that name. I love typing that name. Shall we?
Bud Cort. Bud Cort. Bud Cort. Bud Cort. And he LOOKS like a Bud Cort.

I also watched part of From Here to Eternity tonight, which I'd seen once before, although I'd missed the very end. (Thank you, TCM, for ending at 10:02 instead of 10:00.) My favorite part of the movie is that Deborah Kerr actually relaxes her back muscles long enough to romp around on the beach with Burt Lancaster. I've blogged it before, and I'll blog it again: that woman's posture was freakishly good.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 8:48 PM 1 comments
Spanglish
I set the bar pretty low for myself. On any given day, if I can get out of bed and dress myself, I am so freaking proud.

Today, I lost the battle. But, to quote Charity Hope Valentine, there's always tomorrah.

I did manage to watch Spanglish. I think some higher power was punishing me for being so damn lazy. James L. Brooks has made some decent movies, but his policy has always been, "Let's write a bunch of witticisms that everyone will find so freakin' clever they can't stand it and then build a story around them that will make everyone happy to be a member of this kooky, complicated human race." Only, he's not so clever anymore.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 6:14 PM 0 comments
Friday, May 26, 2006
Natalie Green
Somebody "rejiggered" my Natalie Green edits on Wikipedia. I wonder if it was Mindy Cohn, who played Natalie Green. They really just tightened up the wording, but I feel kind of. . . violated.

Tonight one of the Jeopardy! categories was a "Finish the Musical Theater Lyrics." I got all flummoxed on "Send in the Clowns," so that's the only one I missed. I feel that if I had hit "pause" on my DVR, I would have gotten it, but that's against my Jeopardy! official viewing rules. (Other rule: If I don't say the answer out loud, it doesn't count in my imaginary Jeopardy! game.)

Anyway, the other musicals featured were South Pacific, probably my least favorite movie musical. (Enough with the freaking planes already), King and I (The movie is too long, but has a lot of fun musical numbers--but Deborah Kerr's pole-in-her-back good posture always bothers me. Slouch a little, woman!), Sound of Music (I was brainwashed at too young an age to have an objective opinion), and Fiddler on the Roof (one of my favorite movie musicals, also too long, and my DVD player ATE my copy).

One really funny feature on the DVD of Fiddler On the Roof is the audio commentary provided by Norman Jewison (who isn't Jewish!) and Topol (who is Jewish, and not a smoker's tooth polish). Topol goes on and on about the horse he was paired with in the film. Now, put on your best Tevye accent when you read this in your head,

"The horse, he was very well behaved. He was very sweet. I would sing my song, and he would just stand there eating hay. He was a beautiful horse."

"We rescued that horse from the glue factory. He had no training. He was such a good horse."

And just when you think it's over, in the last scene, Topol comes in with,
"And at the end of filming, we gave the horse to a local orphanage. They loved the horse. Such a good horse."

You know, some films, they don't need the commentary.

And speaking of Topol, do you remember those old commercials for Topol, the Smoker's tooth polish? A really good looking couple would come into a restaurant, and the hostess would say, "Two for non-smoking?" And the guy would go, "No, we smoke." And the idea was regardless of what you were doing to your lungs, your TEETH could be white and shiny by using Topol.

And speaking of hostesses, I just found out from a reliable source that Aileen Quinn, who played Annie in the movie Annie, is now a hostess at a restaurant in Hoboken, NJ. I called my sister to tell her, and she said, "Are you going to call her there?" Um, no. I have nothing to say to Aileen Quinn. She knows why. (Okay, she doesn't even know I exist.)

Oh, and get that Don Budge fellow if he's available!

posted by Margie MacDougall at 8:07 PM 1 comments
Far More Entertaining Than Apollo 13
Use the zoom feature on this page to get as close-up a view as you can of the moon. No, really, do it.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 8:02 PM 1 comments
An Endless Stream of Movie Thoughts
I thought I'd take some time and mention some of the many movie and TV references that pop into my head on an average afternoon. Some of them don't make any sense in the context that I think of them, which, to me, is all the more entertaining. And to others, it's confusing and sometimes annoying.

My friend Traci, whom I shall call Tracey for her privacy, emailed me to remind me that we're seeing a show next week. (I totally wrote this so y'all would think I have a life.) I owe her money for my ticket (I'm not a deadbeat! She picked them up!) and so I emailed her, "What was the total $$$$?" And then, this popped into my head, "What's the birthday boy's name, because I write it across my chest," a line from the oft-quoted PARENTHOOD. Didn't make much sense, and had exactly 2 words from my original question. But still, that's what I thought of.

Then a co-worker emailed that she's taking a vacation next week and won't be in. I replied, "Have a great time. Bring me back something French." That's a line from HOME ALONE. (The neighborhood kid comes by to talk to the family, accidentally gets "miscounted" as being Macauley Culkin's character, and when he's walking away, he shouts out that line, because the family is going to France.) Not sure why, but I've always loved this line, and I've been using it lately whenever anyone goes away.

I also love the line "a plain cheese pizza, just for me," from Home Alone, and when I order pizza, I tend to say this, even though, realistically, the cat is going to eat some of it.

Back to today! Live for now! My co-worker, whom I will call Ben,and that's really not his name, because he really wouldn't want it printed here, said to another co-worker, whom I will not call anything, because it really doesn't matter, "I might go see ˆDa Vinci Codeˆ this weekend" And I joked, "The movie. . . or the code?" Ben didn't find it funny, so I explained that it was a reference to an episode of The Simpsons, when Troy McClure (the actor played by the late Phil Hartman) gets a phone call from his agent, who asks him if he's ever heard of ˆPlanet of the Apesˆ, to which he answers, "the movie, or the planet"? Then UNNAMED CO-WORKER said that not only had I told a bad joke, but I had stolen it from someplace else. . . to which I said,

"I didn't steal. I adopted. Big difference. HUGE. Excuse me, I have to go shopping now." That, of course, is adapted from ˆPretty Womanˆ. And that movie is pretty much over for me after she goes shopping.

I still think my ˆDa Vinciˆjoke was funny. I mean, where would you go to see the actual code?

My friend Suzanne, whom I am calling my friend to protect our friendship, is off to New Orleans tomorrow. Please take this opportunity to rob her house.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 2:26 PM 1 comments
So I finally watched Double Indemnity last night, resuming my education on all things Billy Wilder. Mr.Moran, my high school drama teacher, recommended DI to me about 12 years ago. He also lent me his copy of Night of the Hunter, which I never watched, and which he accused me of never returning. He finally admitted he was wrong 6 months after I graduated. And he calls himself a Disney American Teacher Award winner!

Mr. Moran directed several of my schoolmates in a production of Oklahoma! When he got frustrated, he'd like to sing, "Oh, the farmer and the cowman should be shot." Good times, noodle salad.

Double Indemnity was a darn good flick, but I don't really feel like going into why. The only reason I'm blogging at all right now is to get the only person who cares about this blog off my back for not blogging in the past 16 hours or so.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 10:31 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
I kind of wish there was a super-extra-strength Advil, because sometimes, I swear, I might as well be eating Skittles. I don’t care what it does to my body as long as the headache goes away. Maybe it could come with an automatic slot on the kidney transplant list.

Jay Underwood is the “busy guy with lots of pain” in the new Advil ad. Jay had a string of forgettable movies in the 80’s including the overlooked Boy Who Could Fly, which is highly watchable if not particularly original. (I recommend it if you have young kids, which I’m pretty sure most of the 4 people who read this don’t, unless they’re hiding out with their grandparents because y’all couldn’t step it up and be a parent. Yeah, you know who I’m talking to.) The best thing it has going for it is that Mindy Cohn (Natalie Green on Facts of Life. . . it all seems to come back to her on this blog) plays the bad-influence neighbor. I almost spelled that “NABOR,” as in “Jim Nabors.” Hey, how come we say "George 'Goober' Lindsay" but not "Jim 'Gomer' Nabors"? Or, for that matter, why don't we say "Ron 'Opie' Howard"?

Anyway, Jay Underwood went on to make about a million made-for-TV Disney movies with Alan Thicke, where he played a robot. (Underwood played the robot; Alan Thicke actually IS a robot). Not Quite Human, Not Quite Human 2, Still Not Quite Human, Not Quite Human Vs. Mothra, Not Quite Human Orders Hunan Chicken. . . you get the idea. I haven’t seen any of them, so I can’t comment. Oh, and Alan Thicke wrote the Facts of Life theme song. Really, he did. And he SANG the Diff'rent Strokes theme song! (The link above is for the first season theme song, because my boss recently asked me if Charlotte Rae had ever sung part of the theme song, and she did--in the first season.)

Jay Underwood also starred with Johanna Kerns (he loves GROWING PAINS!) in a made-for-tv miniseries based on the Robert Marshall case called Blind Faith. Interesting story about this case, if you care about Growing Pains, or made-for-tv miniseries, or blogs that go off on a hundred tangents and don’t matter at all to anyone: Tracey Gold, Kerns’s TV daughter on that sitcom, visited her on the set of Blind Faith and was introduced to Robert Marshall’s son, Roby (pronounced “Robbie”), who was acting as an advisor to the film. They have now been married for several years and have 3 children. And should I ever get married, which I won’t, I am so totally having the Growing Pains theme song played. Show me that smile again!

(Another tangent: Back in my elementary school days, my friend Jessica and I would set up a village of Fisher Price Little People in my basement. The marriage ceremony for two Little People in love was slamming them together and singing the first line of the theme song. Jessica writes for Reuters news service now and is married and probably did NOT dance to the Growing Pains theme song at her wedding.)

But getting back to Mr. Underwood, because I know you want to see how this ends. (Well, I know you just want it to end.): He hasn’t done much of late. He was on an episode of ER several years ago, and he did a Purina Dog Chow commercial. (It must be character-genetic. The late Robert Urich, who starred in Blind Faith as Underwood’s father, was the spokesman for Purina ONE.) So it’s nice to see him in the Advil ad.

LIFETIME still shows Blind Faith every once in a while during its Sunday afternoon crapola block. And Robert Marshall remains on death row, 22 years after the murder of his wife.

If you’ve gotten through this whole blog entry, you’re a much better person than I. After all, I wrote the thing, and I checked out several paragraphs ago.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 6:23 PM 6 comments
If My Life Was a Sitcom. . .
When my parents went away on vacation, I'd totally rent their house out to DATELINE NBC for one of those "To Catch A Predator" episodes.

It's a variation of the "parents are away/throw a wild party" episode we've seen so often. Remember when that happened on 90210, and Brandon wound up driving drunk and crashing Mondale, the car he named after the 1984 presidential candidate (who I SO voted for in the Scholastic News election)? He got all Mr. Tough Guy, and he said, "I feel like going out and getting drunk right now just to show them that I can do it." And then he's all, "It's like there's a sign flashing above me that says, 'disappointment.'" Oh, Brandon. He was my favorite.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 5:46 PM 0 comments
Good Luck, Patti
My friend Patti has quit her job to resume her theater training and pursue an acting career. I don't want to put too much pressure on her, but I'm sure she's going to find a way to make it all work. She always does, and this is the main reason why I hate Patti.

I hope that Patti refuses to compromise her principles when it comes to accepting acting jobs. In fact, I hope she abandons all her principles before she even starts auditioning.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 11:26 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
I Cain't Say No
to the musical OKLAHOMA! (That exclamation point is part of the title. I'm not THAT into dancing cowboys.)

The DVD (which was given to me! I didn't buy it! I'm seriously not that into dancing cowboys!) has some nice extras, including an option to bypass all the pesky talking and plot and just watch the songs. I wish the DVDs of every musical had this feature. Sometimes, you don't care about the plight of Eastern European Jews at the turn of the 20th century; sometimes, you just wanna see some fiddlin' on the roof.

Anyway, this morning I was settin' by myself like a cobweb on a shelf, by myself in a lonely room, listening to the song Lonely Room from Oklahoma!. (Okay, I had a cat with me, but I'm quoting a song. And in the song, he didn't have a cat. He had a field mouse a nibblin' on a broom.) The song was left out of the movie, along with It's a Scandal. Anyway, there's a line that goes, "And her own soft arms keep me warm. And her long yeller hair, falls cross my face, jest like the rain in the storm." And it sounded like poor Judd sang, "Jest like LORRAINE in the storm." And I'm thinking, "Who the heck is Lorraine?"

It was funny to me. It doesn't have to be funny to you. My blog.
I don't say I'm no better than anybody else, but I'll be danged if I ain't just as good.
That's from Oklahoma! Aunt Eller sings it. Alright, I'm done.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 8:33 AM 1 comments
Monday, May 22, 2006
Becker
This guy I know just emailed me,

"So, is House just Becker without the jokes?"
And he correctly predicted my answer.
"Wait, Becker had jokes?"


I was just vacuuming in the bathroom, and I came up with a great idea. . . Feel free to market this. It's a dustbuster that sorts your change for you if you happen to vacuum any of it up into nickels, dimes, Sacagaweas, wheat pennies, whatever.

I'm a little depressed because something I had an idea for is in stores now--a USB drive you can wear as a bracelet. I've yet to see my other brilliant USB idea, though: a heart-shaped locket. You put a picture of yourself in it, and give it to your girlfriend with the message "Remember me." And the heart comes apart to reveal a portable USB drive. And you can load it with romantic pics of y'all or poetry or whatever. Don't steal the idea, yo. I'm tracking ISPs.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 8:25 PM 0 comments
High School Musical = Newsies < Grease
A co-worker just said that High School Musical was just like Grease. Now, I admit "What I've Been Lookin' For" is getting more play in my apartment than "You're the One That I Want" these days. (I didn't pay for it! I swear!) But to put it on par with Grease, the best high school musical ever starring people in their late twenties, that's just wrong. I'd say it's Newsies good, though. I'll give it that--especially since there's no actual high school musical in High School Musical, and there's plenty of grease in Grease.

Let us pray:
"Double Doodle. One of my diamonds just fell in the macaroni."

posted by Margie MacDougall at 8:07 AM 0 comments
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Best Bio I Ever Heard on Food Network
"Before training as a pastry chef, Chad was a sniper in the U.S. Army. "
No attention span this weekend, so no movies, although I did watch a huge chunk of Singin' in the Rain, one of my favorite musicals.

Two favorite lines:

"I make more money than Calvin Cooledge--put together!"

"Wait a minute. I am just about to be brilliant!" (I use this one sometimes, I have to admit)

I had the honor of seeing a re-release of this at the Film Forum a few years ago, with special guest Betty Comden (one of the writers) in the audience. Afterwards, she spoke to the crowd, and admitted that the "Broadway Rhythm" dance sequence didn't really belong in the film. But the long-form dance routine had been very popular in An American in Paris the year before, and she and partner Adolph Green were told to work one into SITR.

I got to meet Adolph Green, too, a few years before he died. My friend Rachel noticed him on Shubert Alley, and we spoke to him for a few minutes about On The Town, another great Gene Kelly musical. He actually sang a few bars of "Modern Man" a song written directly for the film version of the movie. I try not to be a starf*cker when I meet famous people, but this was really cool for me.

I've seen On The Town about a hundred times. (It's on this week on TCM. DVR it!)
Here's my favorite quotes from THAT movie:

(Police officers, after finding out that a dinosaur at the science museum was destroyed):
"She's my favorite singing star, that Dinah Shore."

"I know a great place where we can hide just over the Brooklyn Bridge."
"Where?"
"Brooklyn!"

And if those of you who know me think MY sneezing and coughing are annoying, check out pre-Bewitched Alice Pearce with a nasty case of post-nasal drip.

RESPONSE OF PEOPLE READING THIS BLOG: We're more annoyed by your complaining and blogging and weird preoccupation with your cat.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 7:54 PM 0 comments
Saturday, May 20, 2006
My fake work is never done!
I just edited my first WIKIPEDIA article! After I linked my name to the Natalie Green entry, I was reading it and discovered 2 glaring errors: Natalie DID decide to stay in New York, and she was only there for 1 episode. I've saved the integrity of the final season of The Facts of Life! And I've kept the Internet safe for seekers of 80's sitcom trivia.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 7:50 PM 0 comments
The Jump to Hyperlink
Someone requested that I learn how to use hyperlinks, so I did. Thank you for that extra push!

posted by Margie MacDougall at 7:33 PM 0 comments
Pulp Fiction and Kool-Aid
I don't keep kosher, but I did grow up in a kosher home. In college, when other kids were experimenting with crystal meth and Zima, I decided to--gasp--make a pork chop. My mother was devestated. To her, I'd abandoned by upbringing for a taste of the other white meat.
"How do you know when it's ready? Aren't you afraid of Trichinosis?"

Mom needn't have worried. While I love me some bacon, and some shredded pork in my wanton soup, there are some habits that die hard, and, in general, to quote Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction, I'm not kosher, I just don't dig on swine. Ham, to me, looks like a pig. And there are times, particularly right after I've watched Carrie, that I just don't want anything to do with anything that came from a pig. (Nor do I want to look at a bottle of Karo corn syrup, or listen to any Loretta Lynn music. The movie has THAT much of an affect on me.)

Anyway, I don't really care for pork ribs that much, which makes me a little sad, because I just found this recipe for Kool-Aid ribs, and that's just so wrong AND so right all at the same time.

http://www.kraftfoods.com/main.aspx?s=recipe&m=recipe/knet_recipe_display&Rpage=1&u1=keyword&u2=kool-aid&u3=**14*85&wf=9&recipe_id=75166

posted by Margie MacDougall at 12:13 PM 0 comments
Soda. OJ. Purple Stuff.
Hey! Sunny D!

posted by Margie MacDougall at 5:57 AM 1 comments
Friday, May 19, 2006
Really boring post
Why do they always have ginger ale on airplanes? Without fail, you never see people ordering root beer, creme soda, Grape Nehi, or any of the other secondary and tertiary carbonated beverages. But they always have ginger ale. Is it because ginger ale is supposed to be soothing to the stomach? That's bs. There's no actual ginger in it.

I bought some ginger ale with real ginger in it about a month ago, and it tasted horrible.

I TOLD you it was a boring post.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 8:47 PM 1 comments
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Let me blog on it
I am waiting for someone to ask me to make a decision about something, so I can say to them, "Let me blog on it."

But I think I just kind of took some of the luster out of it. Now it's not going to seem spontaneous and clever.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 8:50 PM 2 comments
Bed, Bath, and Beyoncé
Has anyone ever made that joke? I'm not sure that's a whole joke, or just a funny punch line, but someone should do something with it. Like a bad sitcom scene:

Enter Roy, arms full of bags
Katie: Where have you and Lynda been all day?
Roy: We just got back from Bed, Bath, and Beyonce.
Katie: Don't you mean Bed, Bath, and Beyond?
Roy: We only got to the Bed and the Bath. Then Lynda had a craving for the Survivor album and a Moolatta. So we went to Best Buy. . . and Dunkin' Donuts. . . and Petco.
Katie: What did Lynda have a craving for at Petco?
Roy: Oh, that was for me. I've got this weird rash. IT might be mange.
Katie: Roy, you just have to be patient with Lynda. I was just like this my first pregnancy.

(See, the plot is, Lynda is pregnant, and she's driving Roy Off the Wall, which I guess is the name of this show. And at the beginning of each episode, some of the characters meet together at this wall/fence built around a park near where they live, and they chat, Peanuts-style.) And THAT'S the show.


Sam is looking into buying a deep-fat fryer. One model on the Fry Daddy line is called the Duo Daddy--it's separated into two cooking sections, so you can be frying Twinkies on one side and Oreos on the other, if that floats your boat, and ne'er the twain shall meet. I think they should rename it the Gay Daddies. It just sounds better, and when I think of two sides of a deep fat fryer, it's just so GAY. Well, no, it's not, but I still think that "Duo Daddy" is just a vague way of saying "Gay Daddy," as in "Sam has two Daddies." Which she doesn't. And she doesn't have a Fry Daddy either. . . yet.

And I really think the Fry Daddy people should take that next step towards tolerance.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 8:35 PM 2 comments
Muppets
So my hair was super frizzy today, and Sam said I looked like a Muppet. This is not the first person to ever tell me this. And on the walk home from work I started thinking that it would be funny if there were a reality show called True Life: I'm Becoming a Muppet. And there'd be a scene where I find out that insurance won't pay for the transformation, and I break down for the cameras:

"I mean, I know they don't understand. My parents don't understand, my friends. They look at me and they just see another human being, but that's just the outside. Inside, I am a Muppet. And I just want my outside and my inside to match, you know? Muhna Muhna (sniff sniff) Muhna Muhna."

Sometimes I think I really am part Muppet. Or, maybe, Goonie.

Here's a favorite part from The Great Muppet Caper
Pops (Guy behind counter at hotel): How were you folks fixing to pay?
Kermit: What are our choices?
Pops: A) Credit Card, B) Cash, C) Sneak out in the middle of the night.
Fozzie: We'll take C
Pops: Very popular choice!

Fozzie is so friggin' hot.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 7:32 PM 0 comments
The Answer is Grease
I play this game sometimes with my friend and co-worker (a "froker," if you will—and you will, if you know what's good for you) Sam (whom I will call "Erica" to protect her privacy). I quote a movie, she guesses what movie it's from. The answer is always Grease. See if you can guess this one, inspired by a conversation we just had via email about twinkie sushi, which she made for my birthday last year. They were every bit as gross and delicious as they sound.

"Twinkies and wine? That's real class, Jan."
"It says here, it is a DESSERT wine."

By the way, Erica turned down a full scholarship to Agnes Scott College to attend New York University.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 11:53 AM 2 comments
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
The Drowsy Chaperone
I just got home from seeing The Drowsy Chaperone.

First, let me say this: I could go on and on about this, but it's not worth my time, and it's not worth the time of the people who aren't reading this, so I'll be quick. If producers thought the sound of people opening crinkly plastic candy wrappers during a show was pleasing to the ear, they'd add that sound to all original cast recordings.

Speaking of ears, I think the writers of this show crawled into my head via my eustachian tubes, took notes, crawled out, and wrote a musical just for me. It was so freakin' good.

Don McKellar co-wrote the book for Drowsy Chaperone, which was originally written for his friend's bachelor party. (This weekend I'm going to work on figuring out how to hyperlink text, so, for example, you can click on "Drowsy Chaperone," go to the site for The Drowsy Chaperone and forget you were ever here. Only I might get sneaky and link you to, say, the traditions page for Agnes Scott College in beautiful Decatur, Georgia. They throw newly engaged students into Alumnae Gardens Pond! They dress up as their class mascot! Oh, GIRRRLS!)

I've only seen three of the movies Don McKellar's been actively involved in, but I've enjoyed them all and recommend all three, in this order:

LAST NIGHT, which he wrote, directed, and acted in, follows a group of Torontans (is that a word?) as they all deal with the end of the world on their own terms. It's clever, it delivers pathos and depth without overmoralizing or philosophizing, and the chick from Grey's Anatomy is in it (Sandra Oh).

32 SHORT FILMS ABOUT GLENN GOULD, which he co-wrote and has a cameo in, is great for people like me with short attention spans, because you're really getting 32 little films. And you don't have to even know who Glenn Gould is to enjoy it, because you learn everything you need to know in those 32 short films. If the powers that be added the extra day in a leap year to July instead of February, you'd be able to watch 1 section of this movie every day for a month. I especially like the part where Gould talks about medications and their side effects for 5 minutes.

Waydowntown McKellar has a supporting role in this, and he elevates a C+ film to a solid B-. He's THAT good. The story revolves around 4 young urbanites who all live and work in a monolithic building complex in downtown Calgary. They're about a month into a bet to see who can go the longest without leaving. McKellar plays the older, suicidal cubicle-mate of the main character. The movie's entertaining enough, but it's dragged down by oversimplified narration that assumes its audience is too stupid to figure out the message on its own. Instead, it just makes the movie worse. Still, I like to judge a movie by asking myself, "Was that worth seeing?" And the answer is still a "yes."

Go, Scotties!

posted by Margie MacDougall at 7:59 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Problems in Parenthood
Dianne Wiest's daughter recently pled guilty to petit larceny, after pummeling a classmate and stealing his iPod. I'm not about to take pleasure in the misfortune of a celebrity I've never met. (If it was Mimi Rogers, though, I'd be dancing in the street. That'll teach her to feed her kid Pringles in the middle of Act II of The Music Man. But that's another story for another time.)

I will, however, take this opportunity to quote what may be my all-time favorite movie lines, both Wiest lines from PARENTHOOD:

"I would just like a little respect. Not a lot just a little. Do you know why I am having sex with machinery? It's because your father left to have a party and I stayed to raise two kids. And I have no life!"

and

Wiest: I'm too young to be a grandmother. Grandmothers are old. I was at Woodstock, for Chrissake! I peed in a field. I held onto The Who's helicopter as it. . . flew away!
Boyfriend: You were at Woodstock? I was at Woodstock!
Wiest: Yeah? I thought you looked familiar!

Tomorrow I'm seeing The Drowsy Chaperone on Broadway. Afterwards I'll blog about one of its writers, Don McKellar. He's probably my favorite Canadian.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 5:51 PM 1 comments
suspension of suspension of disbelief
I was just discussing FREAKS with a co-worker, and I just don't think those circus folk have the scientific know-how to turn a woman into a chicken. I mean, just to cut her legs off without her bleeding to death, you'd think would require something more than a degree from Ringling Bros. Clown College.

posted by Margie MacDougall at 8:11 AM 1 comments
Monday, May 15, 2006
So I was setting up my profile, and there was a question at the end: Would I prefer to whittle with soap or whistle with wood. And I thought that for it being midnight, and my still being in kind of an icky mood because of FREAKS, that my answer was kinda good. But they only give you 150 characters, so I cut the answer and put it here, because it's my blog. You don't have to read it, but I'm posting it anyway.

I failed Art Appreciation in college because I couldn't make a soap sculpture, which was one of our assignments. IT had to be 3-D. I bought like 30 bars of Coast and all I got over and over again was smaller bars of soap and thousands of soap shavings all over my dorm room in Manor South. Okay, I didn't have to fail the class, but I sort of gave up after that. It reminds me of when Anthony Michael Hall failed Shop class because he couldn't make an elephant lamp. But, it was the only class I failed at glorious York College of PA, and I retook it with a different professor and scored an A. (And I still have the plaster hand I made in that class. I covered it in TV Guide pages and put a remote control in in. But someone stole the remote.) Anyway, my answer is clearly: What the f is whistling with wood?

posted by Margie MacDougall at 9:35 PM 5 comments
First post

Hi all. Where to start? A few months ago, I got really, really into NETFLIX. I was renting as many movies as they'd let me have, and I was discovering all these old films that I'd never gotten around to watching when I declared "TV sitcoms" and "being depressed and bitter" as my lifetime themes. I discovered Billy Wilder, who I think is god's gift to screenwriting.

Lately, ever since I found out I could get TCM on an a la carte basis (after calling Cablevision for the third time to complain that it was only part of a $100 package, a guy told me I'd been given the wrong information), and since I got DVR as part of my cable package, I've been off the Netflix scene (although, they are giving me a free month as part of the big class action settlement. And I might just keep their 1-at-a-time plan afterwards). I've managed to see about 47 movies this year that I hadn't seen before in their entirety (I didn't start the list right away, so I might be missing a few). Here's a list of all of them:

Great Santini
The Hills Have Eyes (2006)
The Apartment
Irma la Douce
Sunset Boulevard
Terms of Endearment
Jarhead
All in a Night’s Work
Harvey
Being There
Sweet Charity
Brokeback Mountain
Crash
In Her Shoes
One, Two, Three
Good Night and Good Luck
Westworld
Children’s Hour
Forbidden Planet
Arsenic and Old Lace
Testament
Real Life
Somewhere Tomorrow
Phantom of the Opera (2004)
Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bulls Story
Fear Strikes Out
Yours, Mine, and Ours (original)
Tea and Sympathy
From Here to Eternity
What a Way to Go
Places in the Heart
Imaginary Heroes
Madame Sousatzka
The Final Conflict
Odd Couple
Robots
All That Jazz
Two Mules for Sister Sara
The Sheepman
The Yellow Rolls Royce
Topper
Some Like it Hot
The Celluloid Closet
The Seven Year Itch
Ransom (1956)
Topper Takes a Trip
Freaks

posted by Margie MacDougall at 8:52 PM 6 comments
About Me

Name:Margie MacDougall

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* new business venture
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