Bagel Schmucks

So a few weeks ago, I was in the mood for a toasted bagel and an iced coffee. I walk into this overpriced bagel shop near the PATH, ask for a toasted bagel with cream cheese, and tell the clerk that I am going across the street to Starbucks for coffee and will be back. Five minutes later, I walk back into the bagel shop, coffee in hand, and the clerk looks at me and says, "May I help you?" Not even, "Oh, darn, I forgot your bagel." She forgot that I'd ever been there at all. So I left with no bagel.

This week, I was in the mood for a toasted bagel again. I walked into another, slightly less overpriced bagel shop near the PATH and said to the clerk, "Can I have a toasted everything bagel with cream cheese?" To which she said, "Did you order one?"

For the record, I usually don't like everything bagels, to the point that I insist they be wrapped separately if my mother has a party and serves bagels. And I didn't really enjoy this one, either. In fact, if a terrorist held a gun to my head and told me I had to rank my favorite 5 bagels, it'd probably look something like this, in no particular order:

Sesame
Plain
Salt
one of those fancy cheese bagels you find sometimes
Pumpernickel

I also like RYE, but it's hard to find rye bagels that aren't swirled with pump.