1. I do not like velour.
2. I don't like to travel, but I have been to five other countries: Scotland, Mexico, The Bahamas, Israel, and Canada.
3. Today in Best Buy I went to ask an employee a question, then realized it was just a picture of an employee on the wall.
4. I don't like making eye contact. Because of this, it can take a while for me to recognize someone after we meet. For several months, I thought two new employees at work were the same person, until I saw them together.
5. I often daydream about a parallel universe where I'm basically me, but better.
6. Sometimes I daydream about completely different people I've invented in my head. Kyle Thomas is a sophomore at the Cornell School of Agriculture and Life Sciences. He wants to work in turfgrass management. He doesn't exist.
7. I haven't spoken to my brother in 7 years.
8. I lied. I don't have a brother. . . not even an imaginary one.
9. I like to bring an intelligent-looking book or magazine to the doctor's office. The thinking is, they'll see the book and not treat me like I'm a moron.
10. I need a new jacket.
11. A few days ago I went into a Starbucks to use the bathroom. The women's room was being cleaned and the employee cleaning it asked if I wouldn't mind using the men's room. (They're identical, single stall bathrooms.) I wish I'd said, "Sure. I'll just use my penis." But I didn't.
12. I don't have a penis.
13. In eighth grade, I bought a penguin puppet at the Boston Museum of Science.
14. When my cat was about 4 months old, he started having relations with the penguin on a regular basis.
15. I threw out the penguin. I kept the cat. But I also had him neutered.
16. I have the Lassie theme in my head.
17. I talk to myself.
18. I hope that Bobby is a good movie. It's time for an Emilio Estevez comeback.
19. Sometimes people call me Rain Man. I don't really mind.
20. I would not be surprised to be told I am mildly autistic.
21. I went to a bar mitzvah where they'd hired Hulk Hogan to entertain the kids.
22. I like denim.
23. I used to ask G-d to let me talk to my dead bird (the one my sister stepped on). Then I'd pretend that G-d had "connected" us like an operator and we'd have a little conversation.
24. After I saw a Broadway show, I used to decide which part all the birds would play--the dead bird, my sister's bird, and the bird that replaced my dead bird.
25. I am cold.
26. Most of the people I know think the cat fountain looks like a toilet. My co-worker Audge, who never says anything funny, said, "It looks like you abandoned Wendell in the men's room at Port Authority. That poor cat."
27. That made me think of a cat being abandoned at the Port Authority men's room, and I got genuinely sad.
28. I do stupid things sometimes, but it really pisses me off when people treat me like I'm stupid when I'm not.
29. I just bought the NEWSIES DVD with a Best Buy gift card.
30. I like blue.
31. I like to bowl, but I suck at it.
32. I count letters in the words that people say.
33. That was 36.
34. I am bored of this list.
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10 comments:
I don't think I've ever read anyone's entire list but I read this one. Very entertaining. :)
You didn't lie, Carli. If you don't have a brother then you certainly haven't spoken to him. It's a weird truth, but truth nonetheless.
#3 made me laugh. Carli, you do have some issues! BTW, penises are over rated but they do sometimes come in handy. That's almost a pun. Almost. But don't ignore me for 7 years like you did your brother. If he existed.
Michele sent me to see you and become bewildered, Carli.
Newsies!! Gotta love that movie.
Great list....I alternated laughing and nodding in agreement all the way through it.
Michele says hi!
you are one interesting person!
Hi from Michelle
I laughed out loud at the fact you were talking to a photo of the employee. That has made my day!
(I also dislike velour)
Oh, meant to say, thanks for visiting me from Michele's!
I am anything BUT bored with the list. It's full of whimsy and fun. I can imagine the scene at the Starbucks...you are too funny!
I like the 'two employees at work' story'. I think we have all done something like that at some time. Oops.
I think I can handle velour without any bad effects.
And Hi Michele sent me.
rashbre
You're list is truly an ode to the randomness...
You must be a kindred spirit. I will visit often.
I have the smurf theme song and the pink panther theme song stuck in my head, but sometimes they try to go at the same time and end up fighting. Papa Smurf fights dirty, but not as dirty as Smurfette.
We have the same fountain. In black. The cats hate it.
Michele sent me. Yeah!
Re # 28: Carry a "smart" book with you all the time (not just to the Dr's. office) and maybe people won't treat you as stupid.
Michele sent me.
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