I was convinced I wouldn't actually go to my therapy appointment yesterday--but I did. And when it was over, even though it only lasted about 20 minutes, I felt like I'd had the wind knocked out of me. I'm not going to lie: I hate this. But if I'm going to salvage anything of this mess I've made of my life, this is where I need to be.
I had a little extra time before my appointment, so I stopped by work first, where I had this conversation:
Me: Hey, does my hair look okay?
SuzyQ: It looks like it always does.
Me: Well, does it make me look too crazy?
SuzyQ: It just looks like you.
Me: Are you saying you don't like my hair?
SuzyQ: I'm not getting involved in this.
So instead of talking about all the reasons why I'm a non-functioning, anxiety-ridden, morbidly obese 30-year-old with the emotional IQ of a 12-year-old, I wound up talking about my hair for 40 minutes. Well, no, I didn't. But I won't say what we did talk about, because some things need to be private.
But I will say, I would not have gotten through it without Suzy Q., who, despite hating my hair and STILL insisting I stole her ugly bait-shop mug, really had my back--whether she wanted to or not. Once I got off the subway in the therapist's neighborhood, I called Suzy Q., insisting I wasn't going through with it. She stayed on the phone with me until the very moment it was time for my appointment.
I had the measles once, and she stayed right by me every minute. Wait, no. That was Dorothy, talking about her Auntie Em in Wizard of Oz.
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12 comments:
I'm confused. Did you physically stop by the office or just phone? In any case everybody should have a 'Susy Q' to help them through trying periods. I hope you will feel the benefits of your session and that things will get easier.
Michele says hi!
Michell sent me back to see if you are around. Maybe you are still in bed. I get confused with the time difference. Here in the UK it's tea-time but I am about to do a bit of gardening before my evening kir.
Cheers!
Michele sent me to cheer you. Even at 20 minutes, a session where you're making progress is something to be proud of.
Keep up the great work!
greetings from Michele!
i have a buddy who is visiting the therapist on a fairly regular basis, and has been for some time now... he still often will call to get "talked into" going (which means he is already going but needs some support to get there) its great that you have supportive friends and coworkers.
by the way, i havent visited you before, i dont think, but i do love your style, the way you write.
Anyone who writes with your sense of style and depth hasn't made a mess out of anything. You have a gift, Carli. Michele sent me to ensure you knew this.
good friends are hard to find. I have a friend named SuzyQ is she is the same way. hold on to her!
thanks for stopping by my humble blog thought I would come and visit you!
Hi Carli,
I heard someone once say if you die with two or three close friend's, you were wealthy indeed.
Michele sent me,
Mike
hi carli :)
thanks for stopping by my blog. and good on ya for going to your appointment!
Hi Carli, good friends are as important as good therapists. Sounds like you have both. Michele and I say hi, and good luck.
You would all seem more sincere if you didn't mention "Michele." This is a human being, not a video game. Have some respect.
In regards to the post above:
Yes, a lot of my visitors come from Michele's "comment game." I comment on other people's blogs and in turn, other people visit and comment on mine. The game is only offered on the weekend, and many people tend to read the top posts. Sometimes my top post is funny, sometimes it's more serious, like this one--it all depends on what's going on when the weekend strikes. I play the game myself because I enjoy visiting other blogs, and I want the exposure for my own blog in the hopes that people will return on their own. . . and it's something to do during late-night reruns of Scrubs.
As for stating, "Michele sent me. . . " well, it's Michele's game, and she sets it up for us every weekend, and I don't mind if people use the tag. Some of these readers come back during the week, and for that I am grateful to both those visitors and to Michele's blog.
I DO mind when it's very obvious that a person has not spent the time to read the blog and just writes "Michele sent me." Those posts get deleted right away. But a post can be heartfelt and a part of the "comment game."
Thanks for your concern, but it's all okay.
I'm still laughing about your Carrie post above. heh heh.
You really should have posted a photo of your hair along with this entry so we could've felt "one" with the conversation
Michele sends me to good places
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