Where I Wanna Be

I don't really believe in New Year's Resolutions. I know it's good to set goals and re-evaluate my life from time to time, but I'm not going to delay nor accelerate life changes based on the Gregorian calendar.

And yet, lately I have been re-evaluating my life. I'm still struggling with mental illness and some other issues. But beyond that, I'm thinking about career goals more than I have in many years.

I graduated from college not really sure what I wanted to do; my main objective in college was simply to graduate from college. In high school I entertained the idea of becoming a famous sitcom writer, but ultimately decided that was a childhood fantasy--and the college I wound up going to did not have a film department nor a strong writing or theater program.

I managed to get a job in publishing a few months after graduation and I have to admit, I loved it. Nine and a half years later, I'm still there. That's a long time in this day. Most people my age have had two or three jobs. I look around at my workplace and realize it's like Season 14 of ER: most of the original faces have moved on, to new editorial positions, jobs in other fields, law school, full-time Mommyhood, and in some cases, death.

Don't get me wrong; I'm still happy (and lucky) to have a job. I work with talented people and get along with almost everyone. I get to write and be funny and maybe even make a difference in some lives. My managers are incredibly supportive. But it's become comfortable rather than exciting. And as my colleagues (as well as my friends from home) move on to new adventures, I wonder if I'll ever have my turn, and I itch to think what else might be out there for me.

I've given some thought to what I would do if I wasn't in publishing. I'm a jack of all trades, and a master of none. I love reading the Marketplace and Personal Journal sections of the Wall Street Journal. I'm fascinated by how products are branded and marketed--but to get into that racket, I'd probably need an MBA, and I have little interest in pursuing more formal schooling. (I have asked acquaintances about books relating to this subject, and I may read Purple Cow once I'm done with the ginormous pile of books on my shelf.) And besides, I don't think the high-stress corporate world is for me. At the very least, I hate having to get dressed up.

Then there's gift-giving. I know, I know. There are thousands of people out there in the world who want to be professional shoppers. What makes me so special? The thing is, I don't even particularly like shopping. What I like is finding the perfect gift. It's like a game to me. This past holiday season, I recognized that this is more than mere boasting on my part; I believe I have a genuine knack for it. Not only did many people come to me for gift-giving help, but several friends commented on the appropriateness of the gifts I gave them. And many of my own picks for great gifts were found on the pages of magazines' gift guides. If there's a way to parlay this into a career, I'd love to do it. I just lack the entrepreneurial spirit and know-how to implement the ideas I have.

Similarly, I wouldn't mind working in some aspect of the toy industry, making predictions or even working on the development and marketing of toys.

Finally--and this is the one that really comes from left field--I've thought it might be cool to work in college admissions. A few years ago, I stumbled upon MIT's Admissions page. MIT was pretty much the first college in the country to use blogs (written by both admissions staff and college students) to recruit new applicants. And I read this post by Ben Jones, who works in the admissions department. And I realized this may be something I would be good at--working to build a community of students who will thrive at a particular institution. And I like learning about other peoples' lives--that's one of the main reasons why I read blogs, after all. I'm also interested in the other side, helping students to find schools that are appropriate for them. Maybe this stems from my own unhappiness with my college selection. Maybe it's because I look at an 18-year-old and I see a blank slate full of potential. Maybe it's because I'm not motivated to do interesting things with my own life, so I live vicariously through others'. Or maybe it's just because I genuinely like knowing things, and we don't always choose what interests us. I've dug head-first into college materials, memorizing the best state schools, top undergraduate business programs, etc. I can rattle off all the UCs without skipping a beat (LA, Riverside, Santa Cruz, Santa Barbara, Merced, Irvine, Berkeley, Davis, San Diego) and have carried on conversations with a co-worker about the different kinds of undergraduate architecture degrees. (His son is applying to schools.) The background on my computer at work is Wally the Little Giant, the mascot for Wabash College, one of four remaining all-men's schools left in America (the others being Hampden-Sydney, Morehouse, and Deep Springs). See? :-) I love learning about interesting, unique majors such as Packaging Science (Clemson) and Canadian Studies (SUNY Plattsburgh). There's so much exciting stuff happening on college campuses--inspiring art, groundbreaking research (and the football ain't half bad, either). Last year, on my way home from the Bronx Zoo, I couldn't help walking through the campus of Fordham University. I loved it: a whole green college campus right smack in the middle of an outer borough. Much as I don't want to pursue an advanced degree, I love the idea of working at a college.

Wow. This has been long. . . especially considering I don't plan on leaving anytime soon (although, now that I've written this post, I'll probably be fired tomorrow). Like I said, I have other things I need to work out first. And maybe I've stayed so long at my job because it's the right place for me. Maybe it's not a bad thing to have committed to a place for almost a decade. Maybe I should look for excitement elsewhere in my life and look at my job as a way to earn a living. But I'm a curious person by nature, and wonder what viable paths lay before me. Gosh, I'd like a crystal ball. And a Pepsi.

Ooh, or maybe own my own arena football team. I'd call them the New Jersey Wild Dogs. Because I like Wild Dogs.