10 Cool Things About My Mom

Ok, people. This is the last one. Immediate family only. This blog will not turn into some sappy Hallmark card/Letterman top ten list hybrid. But it's my mother's birthday, and who am I to deny her a list?

1. I was the most prolific care-package receiver at sleepaway camp.

2. On my own birthday, she made a meat loaf birthday cake. And it looked almost exactly like the version Martha Stewart made. Not surprising, since Martha Stewart is actually my biological mother.

3. We used to sit up in my bed at night reading. She would read a page, and then I would read a page. And then I would go to sleep and wake up in the middle of the night and go running into her room and ask for apple juice. And she always got up and got it for me.

4. She has come to appreciate, if not fully accept, my bizarre sense of humor.

5. When I had mono, she played "Go For It" with me every single day, sometimes several times a day, and never expressed any boredome. By the way, Go For It was a game which was awesome and had way too short a life. I definitely recommend it if you're 9 years old and have to spend the whole month of July inside because you have mono.

6. She did this really cool thing where she carried me inside her body for 9 months, and then let somone cut her open to get me out.

7. I thought I was nuts when I suggested we go on a mother/daughter vacation last year, but we had a blast in Disney World. And I got her to go on a "thrill" ride--Splash Mountain. I know she went on for me, and I know she was terrified.

8. On Friday mornings when I was in elementary school, Z100 always played the oldie "Shout." And every Friday morning, my mother and I got together in my room and danced.

9. She helped me put on a family production of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs in our backyard to raise money to buy my retiring teacher a gift. Oh, shit. That was another Brady Bunch episode. (This episode made no sense at all. was Cindy the only freaking kid in her class? Why did her family bear the responsibility of raising money for a gift? And instead of pouring all that money into a production of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, why didn't they just take a freaking trip to Things Remembered and buy a cheap music box to give the teacher?)

10. She has helped me clean my apartment more times than I can count. She understands, somewhat, that I did not inherit her cleaning gene. But she also showed me the power of a little elbow grease, something I think about when I'm cleaning my kitchen. So, you know, once or twice a year.