Did you know? The mayor of the French town of Sarpourenx just wrote a law forbidding people to die unless they have a cemetery plot. It was a sarcastic response to to a ruling stating the current, overcrowded cemetery cannot be expanded.
This got me thinking about death. (Here is where my boss would chime in, "In all fairness, most things get you thinking about death.") And I know it's against Jewish law for me to be anything but buried in the ground after I die. It's also against Jewish law to eat bacon, and unlike Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction, I DO dig on swine. But I've thought about this long and hard, and I don't see the point in taking up room or having a place people feel obligated to visit. I mean, my grandfather is in Florida, or at least his body is, and my parents will spend the rest of their lives planning obligatory every-few-year trips to Ft. Lauderdale to visit.
And I don't want to be worm food, and I don't want people to have to dress up to come to my funeral. I just want it to be done with. I want my ashes scattered over the Brooklyn Bridge, or Central Park. Or both. There's enough for every borough!
Yes, it's scary to think of my body boiling in a man-oven, but hopefully all brain activity will cease by then and I'll have no idea what's going on, or maybe I'll think someone's frying chicken, which would make me happy since I like fried chicken. And in all honesty, I just imagined my skin turning into one of those rising crust pizzas.
I know it's a morbid subject, but in all seriousness, should disaster befall me, this is what I want. And I even found a very compelling argument for Jewish cremation.
So should I fall off a building or get hit by a loser text-messaging driver or contract bird flu or rabies or a piano falls on me, please, dear blog readers, stick up for me and my corpse. Don't let the rabbi say, "She wasn't in her right mind. I mean, have you read her blog? We're burying this bitch."
And no, this isn't a cry for help. And I hope it isn't a predictor for the days to come, because I'm going on vacation in a few weeks, and I'd prefer to take it alive.
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3 comments:
Yep - vacations are always better when taken alive. Being dead on vacation would bite.
Yeah, cremation has always been my preferred way too. And, you know, there's no obligation to keep the ashes or anything.
But I guess I'm kind of a morbid person.
Although I also think it'd be cool to have my remains fossilized with a plaque about our culture for long in future generations. But that probably wouldn't work out.
Guess what? When you're gone you won't know what happens and the burial, funeral, etc. are NOT for the dead person. They are for the ones left behind. Get over it. It is OUR decision!
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