The Moss commented in my last post about a show called Small Wonder. This was a syndicated show back in the eighties. For anyone who doesn't remember, before there were "netlets" like the WB and UPN and niche channels like Speedvision and Lifetime: Television for Women and the like, syndicated shows were much more popular--think Baywatch, Xena: Warrior Princess, , and they'd appear on local channels like Channel 9 or 22 or what have you whenever the Hell they needed space to fill. (This was before the infomercial took over, too.) There are still a few syndicated shows out there, like The Outer Limits--but they're not as ubiquitous as they once were.
Anyway, Small Wonder was about this struggling middle-class scientist who invented a robot that looked and acted just like a real little girl. But instead of cashing in on the robot, which surely would have made him a millionaire along the lines of Dean Kamen, inventor of the Segway, he continued to muddle through his mediocre life all the while passing little VICKI off as the child he never had and using her as a servant around the house. And she slept in a cabinet in his son Jamie's bedroom. No, really. This was really a show. And it had an amazing theme song, with lyrics like, "She's fantastic. . . made of plastic. . . microchips here and there." And Edie McClurg was on it, and her character had a catch phrase, which wasn't so much a catch phrase as saying, "no" six times in a row with a really annoying inflection.
I really miss the eighties.
Confidential to annoying assholes in Barnes and Noble: Barnes and Noble is a bookstore. Book. Store. Not a library. That means you don't sit yourself down with your rude-ass kids in the MIDDLE OF THE AISLE with a pile of books while actual customers are trying to figure out what the heck a Backyardigan is.
It also means (and this goes back to an incident from like 5 years ago when The Moss and I and some of her friends were seeing Run Lola Run and we were hanging in a Barnes and Noble cafe beforehand) that you don't ask people who are having a conversation to be quiet because you're trying to read. If you want to read books for free in a quiet environment, go to a freaking library. . . or, pierce your eardrums with an olive fork and steal yourself some books.
And it's also not called Barnes and Nobles. It's Barnes and Noble. No "s" at the end. Assholes.
8 comments:
Wow, photos in the 80s sure were blurry!
I could have told you what a Backyardigan is...
Now that damn song is stuck in my head again.
"We're the Backyaaaaaaaaardigans!"
Tasha thinks she knows everything. Tasha, you are a KNOW IT ALL!
Quack Quack, throw me a fish.
And I am sorry to say, I am one of those people who bring their kids to B&N and sit there with a pile of books...it is a good distraction...
Yes, but I am sure you don't sit there in the MIDDLE of the aisle. . . I mean, it's one thing to sit there off to the side of the aisle, and just move if someone comes, but they were taking up the whole aisle. . . and when I asked them if I could please look at the books they were completely blocking, they moved about a half inch and just stared at me uncomfortably, and their parents did nothing. . .
Some B&N's are wireless now.Did ya know? I am writing this from the floor of the non-fiction bestsellers aisle on the second floor in Dallas, TX.
Tasha, Uniquequa, Pablo, It's me Tyrone. Austin is over in the self-help books. We've been looking everywhere for you. If you see this, please meet us at the castle of King Austin. You know where I mean. It's on the other side of the Stinky Swamp. I have a secret message for you!
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